Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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