In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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