He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize