Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
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lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
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drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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