Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
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Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
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My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
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