she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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