Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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