I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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