corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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