I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize