i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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