the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
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