you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
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I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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