he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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