I wannas sexs uuuuu
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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