dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
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Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
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totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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