guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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