you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize