I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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