whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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