Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
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I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
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I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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