While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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