He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
