Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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