She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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