I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize