Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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