I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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