I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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