i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
