I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Let's paint friendship bongs
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize