I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
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i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He better not be in your backpack
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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