ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize