this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i've created a new STD.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Im part way to drunk.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize