my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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