very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
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She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
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Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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