69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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