if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
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I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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