It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize