Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
organizing the empties. That sober.
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I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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