If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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