Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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