What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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