..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think I won the penis lottery.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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