i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize