you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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