he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize