never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize