She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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