I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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