i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
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I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
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He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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